Comedy Quotes !!!

ROMANTIC MOTIVATIONAL PAIN COMEDY COOL PARAG

QUOTE - If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - I don't care about software piracy - I use Unix but when it comes down to Music, Movies & MP3s - I hate piracy from bottom of my neighbor's heart.
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - Before marriage husband is a God but after marriage the characters are just reversed.
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - They say love exists in all corners...I must be running around the circles.
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - "With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion!
Author - Steven Weinberg

QUOTE - Raju Raju...Yes People...Cheating us No People...Telling Lies...No People...Open the balance sheet...HA HA HA
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - I got educated through an institution called Internet where I spent just 1% of my life. The sarcasm is that 99% of my time got wasted in search of education while I was attending schools, tuitions, colleges, lectures, trainings, coaching classes, crash courses,seminars..shit..shit..shit..and what not!!
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - I spent 90% of my money on Traveling, Adventure Sports, Gadgets, Movies & Restaurants. The rest I wasted!
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping.
Author - Cindy Crawford

QUOTE - When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids.
Author - Jill Bensley

QUOTE - I've been to war. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war.
Author - George W. Bush

QUOTE - What if u get married to the one u love...does the password still remain the same ;-) ...I don't know...I am asking the ones already married or soon getting married :P ...btw I haven't changed my password ever since I created my mail account...and I don't intend to change it either... ;-)
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - “Women are like apples on trees, the best ones are on the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and don't want to get hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't so good but easy. So, the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top becuase they value quality.”
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - “Smile - It's the third best thing you can do with your lips.”
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - Ok..ok..everybody is asking me same questions...so for all of you... - 3 best things that you can do with your lips - 1. Speaking truth, 2. Snogging and 3. Smile
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - Ok so most of u disagree with me...I can't help...This is what majority says...3 best things that they can do with their lips - 1. Smooching, 2. Sucking and 3. Smoking...This is called "Dev S"...
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember, somebody got tired of her
Author -

QUOTE - Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.
Author - Miss Piggy

QUOTE - My work place comprises of some pretty good people...I mean some are good while some are pretty.
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - A beauty is a woman you notice; a charmer is one who notices you.
Author - Adlai E. Stevenson

QUOTE - Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
Author - Kinky Friedman

QUOTE - Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
Author - Albert Einstein

QUOTE - I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty... you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.
Author - J. D. Salinger

QUOTE - Beauty is as relative as light and dark. Thus, there exists no beautiful woman, none at all, because you are never certain that a still far more beautiful woman will not appear and completely shame the supposed beauty of the first.
Author - Paul Klee

QUOTE - The box said "Requires Windows 98, NT, or better", so I installed Linux.
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.
Author - Dave Barry

QUOTE - No matter how fast your computer system runs, you will eventually come to think of it as slow.”
Author -

QUOTE - Never judge a book by its cover, Never judge a movie by its book and Never judge a boob by its bra.
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - The secret to creativity and innovation today is knowing how to hide your sources.
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Author - Henny Youngman

QUOTE - You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Author - Bob Hope

QUOTE - The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.
Author - Fred Astaire

QUOTE - Had money grown own trees...I bet no one would have ever dared to cut a single tree...thats the ironic moral of the story...Man wants money which can only buy Computers, Cell phones, Cars, Cameras and one night with a hot Chick but he doesn't want trees which can buy him his Life... - (Author of this quote - Parag Kalra)
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - So bleak is the picture... that the bulldozer and not the atomic bomb may turn out to be the most destructive invention of the 20th century.
Author - Philip Shabecoff

QUOTE - Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - I have no doubt that we will be successful in harnessing the sun's energy.... If sunbeams were weapons of war, we would have had solar energy centuries ago.
Author - Sir George Porter

QUOTE - Live the dream...hit the snooze button...
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust.
Author - Zig Ziglar

QUOTE - After Monday(M) and Tuesday(T) even the week says WTF
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - Appraisals are where you get together with your team leader and agree what an outstanding member of the team you are, how much your contribution has been valued, what massive potential you have and, in recognition of all this, would you mind having your salary halved.
Author - Unknow

QUOTE - The best way to make your computer work faster is to throw it out of Windows.
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - Despite the Old saying.."Don’t Take Your Troubles & Worries To Bed”..Most of the People still sleep with their wives..What a crazy world..
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - Computers are like Air-Conditioners - Moment you open "Windows" they are not effective...
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - The box said 'requires windows XP or better'...so I installed Linux...
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
Author - Oscar Wilde

QUOTE - A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one.
Author - Marjorie Kinnan

QUOTE - So near...yet so far...Rules are always the same...Be it Love, Cricket or Promotions...
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - Girls and Games (Computer) remain 2 of my unconquered territories.
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - Be nice to people while going up...you never know...you might again meet them while coming down...
Author - Jimmy Durante

QUOTE - Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Author - Oscar Wilde

QUOTE - Promises are like Babies...Easy to make but difficult to deliver...
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - Its not good for husband and wife to work at same place. Well a man cannot have 2 managers at the same place and at the same time.
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - Whenever we do any deal or want something, we always want more - be it Food, Fuck or Money and we always end up wasting it. So always try to have little less than what you need and give little more than other person's greed.
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends.. Good job.. Good food.. Good sleep.. & "GOOD _UCK" whatever you are thinking. That's right!
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - Opinions are like orgasms. Mine is more important and I don’t give a fuck if you have one.
Author - Uknown

QUOTE - My idea of a "Happy Meal" is any meal I don't have to cook.
Author - Uknown

QUOTE - God has gifted eyes to enjoy some hot, lovely, cute, beautiful and sweet things... ;-) Don't waste it doing some boring QA validation - You have Perl for that... :-)
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - There is no point in keeping your heart strong like an Iron, You never know whose heart turns out to be a Magnet..
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - I wish my eyes had a camera and I could capture every thing with a wink of my eye...
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - Female and Fragrance is deadly combination...The most difficult part is smelling the Flower without plucking it...
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
Author - Scottish Proverb

QUOTE - Irony of relationships between lovers in today's age - You can touch each other but you cannot touch each other's Mobile Phone
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - Wives, GFs and every Woman as a matter of fact are so mean these days. All they say - "my money is my money, ur money is our money"
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - Always speak less like a girl's skirt - long enough to cover the subject but short enough to be interesting.
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - I sorely miss those less secured days of Facebook and Orkut when exploring beautiful profiles was so easy..
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - Stay hungry...or just stay f(u)llish...its so difficult to lose weight...
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband...
Author - Michel de Montaigne

QUOTE - There was a time when people used to wake up with newspaper and tea. Times have changed...Now all we need is Facebook and a Smoke.
Author - Parag Kalra

QUOTE - Once upon a time, girls used to cook like their mother..now they drink like their father!
Author - Unknown

QUOTE - Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another
Author - H. L. Mencken

ROMANTIC MOTIVATIONAL PAIN COMEDY COOL PARAG

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Comedy Quotes !!!